When I started this project of writing about the memories of my life during this 40 years of life, it didn’t occur to me that I’ll be feeling as if I’m watching a movie or that my memories happened in a parallel universe of sorts. For this week when I sat to think about the age of 14 years old I wasn’t sure what to focus on until remembering took me through the teen emotional rollercoaster that is typical of adolescence.
While my kids are still little and the teen emotional rollercoaster years seem now far away, I started to reflect about how my children’s environment and experiences are going to be so different than mine, and yet, there are going to be many similarities between us. Those similarities might be so subtle that not everyone would be able to spot them; but my hope is that they will see the invisible bond that connects us through time, every time they step into a milestone I had already experienced in my own life.
At age 14 there were many important milestones in my life, like having my first job and falling love for the first time and thinking that was the love of my life. But there were also a lot of other things going on, feeling different every day and riding the proverbial teen emotional rollercoaster in which I felt no one could understand me, feeling so smart that adults seemed to be so dumb and creating fantasy worlds in my own head.
I remember the endless hours I devoted to hand write love songs from Ricardo Montaner, Franco de Vita, Guillermo Dávila, Enmanuel and so many others. Daydreaming with the stories of telenovelas because they always portrait the poor girl whose life changes as if a Cinderella story. Also, having discussions with my grandma because my sister Yanil and I would shower and get dressed later in the day and then go for a walk within our neighborhood and walked about 3 miles to get an ice cream.
It was definitely another time and the simplicity of the life we led awarded us so much freedom at such a young age. However, at that time, I too felt like my dad would say no to a lot of stuff even though I was allowed so much more than my friends of my same age. When I started working it was through my sister who was already 18 years old and that gave me access not only to money, but to being far from home interacting with people and that made me feel grown and it helped build my responsibility.
At age 14, despite what the teen emotional rollercoaster many of us go through, life it’s just beginning and blossoming and so many adventures await if you are patient and learn about the responsibilities of the increase freedom.
Teen Emotional Rollercoaster: 3 Lessons Learned
The main reason I’m writing these stories and looking back at my life is with the hopes that it brings the three of you, my beloved children, with insight of my life when I was your age and some wisdom that can help you navigate your own particular experiences and emotions at this same point in your lives.
Here are 3 lessons I learned at that precious age of 14 years old:
Hugs, not cool but so needed! I know you are reaching the annoyance point when mom or dad want to hug you all the time. You are not a little kid, we know. But I also know that there are many times in which you are going to be in need of a hug. You can get it in private, that’s okay. Just know we are here when you needed, no strings attached!
Remember the ultimate friendship. While your friends who are riding on the teen emotional rollercoaster with you are the ones who only seem to understand you, and those are bonds you feel will last forever, keep in mind you already have the ultimate friendship. Mom was here before you, she is here now and she will be throughout her life to support and cheer you on.
Romantic love and heartbreak. Whether you have a crush or were in love and it broke your heart, this is not it. You will love again and you will be fine. Remember that the most important love story is the one you create with yourself. Loving yourself and having self-respect will attract the kind of love you deserve and desire. You will be fine.
The age of 14 is a beautiful age and one that can be full of dreams and laughter, but also that is part of the teen emotional rollercoaster of negative emotions. I survived 14, we all did, and I’m sure you guys, my loves, will make it too. Love you to the moon and back!
Do you remember the teen emotional rollercoaster?Let's embrace diversity and create social change! © Dania Santana ~ Embracing Diversity
Multiculturalism, Diversity & Inclusion Expert | Author | Speaker